India Part 3

Varanasi... Our last stop in India as we make our way to Nepal. As I look forward to the next few days, I am expecting we will be victims of the worst haggling of our trip, the most confusion, the most frustration. We have been in Varanasi for a day and a half at this point and this has been our experience. We have been told prices that are four or more times expensive than we have found out they should be, even for tourists, told a price that changes 4 times during the same conversation lasting 10 minutes. It seems this town is full of what I consider liars..I don't want to feel this way, but unfortunately, the experiences I have had support this conclusion from my perspective. I am disappointed to think that our last experiences in India may be the most negative of our trip. I wish we could end this trip on a high note. Before coming to Varanasi, we arranged a driver to meet us upon our arrival on an overnight train (an adventure in itself!) We met  him immediately and were relieved! It was  along night and it is nice to find him so easily. But as we get to the car, we see that there will be TWO men with us... None of us are  sure why, but asking only results with the response that this is what we paid for, and it seems the driver doesn't know english, so we concede. The "extra man" arranges to take us to a Buddhist temple and tells us it is a big monument and he is getting us a guide who is a monk to show us the grounds. We know by now that this is probably an exaggeration, and probably nothing like the magical experience most of you are imagining.. Or the experience I imagine... A stone building with gardens and beautiful marigold or burgundy colored robes fluttering in the wind, chanting and incense... No... At this point we know that this is probably a monk who lives nearby, maybe even paid to take care of the grounds, probably hard to understand, etc. but what we end up with is something else entirely...an older man in a baseball cap, a dirty white shirt, barely has teeth and they look like he has been chewing beetlenut (a juicy red tobacco that rots and stains the teeth) since he was six. He seems nice enough, so we continue on the tour, thinking we don't want to judge the book by its cover... However, as we roam, he gives us little to no information about the grounds, tries and very vaguely describes Buddhism, and we find out after some questioning on our side that he is a Hindu farmer. "Seriously!" we think!? "Of course, he's a Hindu farmer!" we discharge him with a payment of 60 rupees (which he is thrilled about) and continue on our walk around the grounds, sure now that our driver is a big fat liar and a scammer. I felt instinctively and immediately that he was up to no good, but hard to be sure in Incredible India...Oh well! Such has been our experience on a more minor level of the rest of India. We were not too, too surprised at this at this point. We had spent the morning being hassled and talked at by this "extra" man and it continued as we arrived back at our car. It continued in fact for every minute that we were with him till we finally lost it.  He sat down at our dinner table with a glass of water and started to continue his haggling. We had to yell at him to leave... "Leave us alone- at least to eat!" We tried everything we could think of prior to this outburst, but he would not be stopped. Finally, he got the point and now his anger was tangible in return. He tried now to drop us, take the money we had paid for the day long service and told his friend to take us home after the meal. He seemed to only care for himself, only realize that he hadn't gotten what he wanted, no concern for the 6 hours of frustration he had caused us, disregarding attitude he had tried to walk all over us with. We accepted whatever it meant to get him out of our hair. We didn't care what we paid for at this point, as long as this man never spoke to us again... Later, as we get to the car to leave, the driver speaks to us in perfect English! We ask him if the other man was his boss? Or ? He tells us he is a business partner who had been contacted to arrange our car. We ended us having to meet up with the extra man one more time, during which he still tried to sell us things, but not with such aggression as our first few encounters. He could drive as well, so we still don't know why two people showed up to do a one person job. It's very disappointing to feel that the only way to handle the hagglers is to become somewhat aggressive. That is not how we want to act or consider ourselves... How do you act how you want to act and live a life of kindness and integrity when people act as this man has acted? I guess you have no choice but to fight sometimes.  ------------------------- I am reading this on our fourth day in Varanasi as I decide to stay inside with Monica who has been very very sick for a day or two now. I am sick as well, with a cold of sorts.. I believe now that it is from the pollution in Varanasi, the holy city, the city of almost non-stop cremations on the Ganges River, the city of fecal matter lining the river walls and the winding streets within the old city, the city of the bodies of the following five types of deaths being thrown into the river (anyone under the age of ten, lepers, people who have been bitten by a snake, maybe a cobra, as the cobra is holy, a specific type of holy men and pregnant women) as well as those of every person for a few minutes in preparation for cremation, the city of trash lining just about every street, every place there is to walk, intense air pollution, dry and putrid at times...the air so sick vomit rises in my throat... I believe now that this is the city of the sick, the city of intense immune systems, or lifelong ailments, who knows! But this is not what I would consider a holy city, never how you'd think a people would care for a holy city. "What has happened here?" "why is it so very bad?" Anne has also felt light headed and nauseous after being out of doors for more than a few hours in the city here. This is astounding to me.  India leaves me confused, unsure how to make sense of the differences from western culture, how to make sense of the nonsense. Looking out at it from my traveled, but western perspective, it really does seem nonsensical at this time. "Maybe in a year!" I say to Anne. "Maybe  in a year I will have some perspective on this experience." To return and look back on the week prior to Varanasi, it seems that I am seeing my experiences in Pushkar, another holy city, then Jaipur and Agra in a brighter light. I really enjoyed Pushkar. It is a stop on a major train line and so it seems pretty tourist friendly. We eat food that does not make us sick, explore the city on our own while shopping, laugh while thinking this is where everyone that goes to Burning Man buys their outfits, read a funny sign about the color festival that goes on here, and even sneak some time by the pool as it is in a private garden.  As for the color festival, and the flyer we saw, I remember laughing as it stated: "do not come outside if you do not like colors!" Upon further inspection, I have learned that "colors" means lead based water colored powder which many of the local children mix with water from the sewers, or stagnant water or mud. The colors are thrown at you, all over a person, and you are welcome to return the throw. Colors are available all over the city and while this city is a hub for the festival, it is celebrated in many cities all over India. We have also heard that it is not fun, that it is gross in many ways because of the dirt and sewage and lead based paint and also because people are very aggressive and your clothes can be torn off or you can be mishandled. Go out at your own risk, and look it up if you need more info. I still have much to research about this and many other experiences in India. I bought a few little canisters of color which I will keep sealed as a momento.  While in Pushkar, we visited a Sikh temple. Outside we had to remove our shoes and cover our heads. I asked the man outside to promise me to watch my hiking boots, made him promise they would still be there when I returned. I laugh now recounting it, how intent i was on receiving his promise..The temple was cool, all white marble, nice views, tall towers and smallish. I want to know more about this religion, another thing to learn. We did learn that more freedom of religion was allowed under Akhbar the Great (sp?) who seems to have been very open minded and it was during his rule that the Sikh religion was started. As we three exited the temple, we met a man with a large knife. We are told it is one of the five elements required to be worn by the men at the temple.  When we pointed to it, he quickly un holstered it and pointed it at Monica. It seemed obvious to me at the time that he would not harm her, but it was a funny sight, something unheard of in my world in the U.S. so I caught it on film. The man seemed pleased. :))) In Jaipur, the Amber fort was quite a sight rising on the hill. Along with the other forts, the scene was pretty spectacular as we arrived in the city. I took a day at this time for myself, I was not feeling well to my stomach and I also needed a bit of time for reflection, a yoga session in my room and reading. It felt nice to be far away from the daunting realities at home, and also nice to let my thoughts settle and start to come to terms with the changes in my life. It was at this point that I started to feel more acceptance, more peacefulness, more letting go. I am thankful that I have had this time, this experience, and these friends. Aside from the Amber fort, we visited a monkey temple, where a monkey god is worshipped. People buy snacks for the monkeys who reside in this region, I fed a peanut to a monkey although I was a little scared and watched as the local people swam in a communal bathing pool alongside the massive amounts of monkeys. This is another thing which has struck me during my travels in India- the way the people and animals co-habitate. Large and small monkeys, cows, street dogs, peacocks, goats, etc. all moving around seemingly on their own volition in close company with the people. In the U.S, we have places and times for these things, sectored off areas for the keeping and watching of animals, a stark contrast to this area where the monkeys run around the children as they jump off the high temple steps into a pool.  After Jaipur comes Agra, a comfortable stop for us, where the same frustrations with communication, discrimination and haggling persist, but also, we stayed in a nice hotel with good food, got to see sights and use the internet  before catching our night train. The highlight here is the Taj Mahal. The view at sunrise was not quite what I expected as the gates do not open until AFTER sunrise and our tickets were 750 rupees in comparison to the local cost of about 50. Also, we had to wait in the "foreign women" line to get in which was extra slow and blatantly discriminatory. This was another time when I was shocked and thankful that this is at least something that is unlawful in the U.S. Can you imagine a line at our churches that only allows foreign women in last and for a large charge? I think to myself, it's the nature of the beast, (there are probably millions of tourists who come here every year and the culture in general seems to put men above women) and step in line to pay and wait my turn. An unexpected joy occurs as I stand and wait. A middle aged Indian woman asks me: "what is your sweet name?" I respond and she asks Anne and Monica in turn. She is gentle, seems very kind and notices my ticket price without my saying anything, points it out to the other women and seems surprised. Her presence is peaceful and gentle. It is a gift at this time to have met her, a testament to my experience of Indian women thus far. The Taj Mahal is beautiful and well kept. I had a great time here in the early morning breeze wandering around the grounds....

Part 2 India!

A few days in India- arrival into Delhi, traveling around the city, I feel I have already seen so much, and yet, so much to come. Old Delhi was wonderful, a rickshaw ride around the area to taste street food, so spicy and flavorful in a cup made of pressed leaves. Jewelry and fabric, families of women seemingly shopping together ( sitting together on mats in the small stores) to buy their saris and punjabi suits. Mostly, we see many more men than women out on the streets. When we ask people where the women are, they say "what do you mean?" and don't seem to understand the question, or they say "they are at home, they don't like the street where it is dirty and dangerous," or "why would they come outside?". We have also been told that there is a much larger male population than female population here. The guidebooks say not to be too friendly, for there will be more attention from men then, and we have not been too friendly, but sometimes it is nice to act like ourselves and wave a friendly hello or the like. The friendliness returned has never been too much, but rather a pleasure to see the fun on the people's faces, a welcome!  Touring around Delhi, we visited the Red Fort and saw a sound and light show in Hindi telling the story of the fort. We couldn't understand it, but the effect of hearing the language, the sounds and the scene lit up as the sun dipped into the horizon was soothing and magical. Outside of the fort, many people wanted to take photos with us, to which I readily agreed. I was and had been taking photos of the Indian people, it seems fair that they want to take photos of me. 

At the hotel our first few nights in India, we decided to be lured into an enticing proposition of a 15 day journey around Rajistan and the north western Indian countryside. Lots of pluses to this plan, hopefully it works out. I don't want to count my chickens, but it seems pretty good so far. We left the hotel yesterday morning for a 5 hr drive to mandawa. A beautiful room with wall paintings, ceiling fans, patios and orange curtains greeted us. The call to prayer inspirational as we drank in the sights, smells and sunset in this beautiful city. Such a small city, the Indian children are so beautiful and as they laugh and run around chasing one another and playing cricket, the joy of it spreads, making me laugh out loud. The city has so many beautiful terraces, small market, seems much more clean and manageable then the city and I wonder out loud to Anne, why would anyone live in the city if they could live here? 

Arrival into Bikaner made me wish to be back in Mandawa. The city here seemed less enchanting, less romantic. The feeling may have just been the hotel room seeming more sterile and the things to see seemed less personal. Highlights we're visiting a camel breeding center and seeing junegarh fort, built 1588-1593. It was huge and exotic, showing lots of detail and many many rooms. The men in the pictures wore turbans and had their beards parted in the middle and brushed toward their ears. The photos and talk of harems at the fort as well as the architecture with cut outs all over the windows seemed like it would be middle eastern but it was good to learn that this is what existed in Indian culture for quite some time in these areas. We also visited some Havelis in a nearby town. I got to wondering who the people were who lived in the Havelis, as they were very broken down and it seemed as if the people were squatting there, but would charge for you to come in and look around... I had to ask our driver and tour guide many times to get the question through as it seemed like he didn't know what I meant by "ownership-to own" but I think that in the end the answer is that someone owns these Havelis, but does not live there anymore, the workers live there, and have in effect taken over the area, but, they live pretty much in a few rooms on the ground floors only and while they charge for admission and act like it is owned by them, they don't repair anything, or can't. It was uncomfortable either way to enter a place that they called home, so we passed on visiting occupied Havelis once we realized people were living there. These old homes, so beautiful, doomed to continue into ruin and sand. The evening in Bikaner was enchanting out of doors. Anne and I stood on the balcony for some time feeling the warm breeze and talking about love.
The two of us feel at a major crossroads in our lives and as I have been traveling around, it seems many of my friends find themselves at a similar point. Nice to share the intersection with such fine folk.

We have been driving 5 hrs a day to get to our destinations. Glad to be able to see so many places, but tired of the car already.  The Indian food definitely does not sit well in my stomach, there are tons of spices in it and it seems to all taste pretty similar to my western palette, so I have reverted to some naan bread and hope that my stomach adjusts a bit at some point in the trip. As we drive, we pass mostly desert area, holy cows, huts, makeshift homes, goats and lots of trash. As we pass cars, it is customary to honk to make sure they know you are passing and there are many times when cars coming the other way just barely get back into their own lane as you approach. This doesn't worry me a ton as I have experienced this in other countries, such as China, but an observation to share with you on how even the driving is much different than in the U.S. It is hot and sunny, but we are told it is much cooler this time of year than usual and there have also been some rains which are not characteristic, but fortunate for us as it helps keep the temperature cooler. 

During our stay in the desert, there was rain, droplets fell as we rode on camels for hours and sat on sand dunes awaiting the sunset. "A Lucky Sign! A Lucky Sign!" We are told. 
"great" I think. I can use all the luck I can get to pull off this change in my life and become more. More of myself, more accepting, more creative, more healthy, embrace, release, encourage beauty around me, in those around me, feel and give more love, gain wisdom, kindness, the light in me honoring the light in you. I hope. I hope. I hope and I observe in these moments the great change happening. Trading comfort for knowledge and perspective. I want to live THIS WAY. 

As we drive, there are so many sights to see, the cows crossing the road continually, along with the goats and sheep and dogs. We dont know who eats the meat from the cows as of now, because mostly people eat all vegetarian here for faith based reasons, but also because it is less expensive to eat all veg. But still, there are many many cows that we pass on our way. Another great joy to have is to see the excitement and spring of fun and joy on the children's and lots of adult's faces as we pass. It is so fun to drink in their happiness and wave and have fun with the idea that we must be just as interesting to them as they are to us. 

We toured a huge fort in Jaisalmer. Winding alleys with shops lining them, selling camel skin goods, trinkets, bindis, clothing, jewelry, wall hangings, sheets, food, wood carvings, etc. the cows wind their way along these streets as well, passing us, we make way for them, the holy cows. We ask lots of questions to shop keepers. Many follow us, if not to buy something from their shop, to ask us where we are from, or to comment on our beauty, as they say..

That's it for today, observations and thoughts on my experiences to come!
X o,
Jenny

India, the start

On the flight into Delhi, I sat next to an Indian man who wanted to talk the whole time. It was a bit hard with his accent, but I managed and he talked my ear off about human duty to the world as the most intelligent species and also about love and tradition. He seemed to think a woman's place is in the home and it felt odd to meet someone who had a view about women in general and didn't see each person as capable (and deserving even) of making their own choices about the path of their lives, I knew that people had this view, but as he was asking me questions and not understanding how "free thinking" I seemed, it struck me as more unacceptable to pin a person into a role than I have ever felt before.
Once I arrived, I withdrew my rupees and got a taxi. I was told it was a certified taxi service, but ended up getting in a van with a driver that didn't know much English. Probably not a great idea in retrospect, but he seemed nice I guess, so I said ok. He ended up being super super nice, got lost a bit, but it gave me time to adjust to how impoverished the streets seemed. He ended up asking lots of people where my hotel was, got one guy into the car to help, but later kicked the guy out because I think the guy was trying to get my driver it just drop me off somewhere... The driver pulled over and yelled at him and kicked him out, and as we drove away, he called him a "cheater man". Haha :) I was thankful and happy to have ended up with a nice man who persevered and found my hotel and was kind. I think I would have had a hard time finding the hotel as well.. The streets are super small and wind around and the sign was small.. He even got out to ask at the last and the guy pointed across the street.. "Haha!" We both laughed!  "We are here!"
Since then, the hotel has been good, has wi fi, a nice bed, and a tour guide here keeps calling me hott, which is funny.. He tells me he wantsto take me to his home near the Himalayas, and I can stay at an Ashram and do yoga for a month and I will love it he says.. And I can meet his mother! Haha!
I appreciated the sentiment, but now to sleep!

Finding

Things I have found:

Many people share my feelings and thoughts, expectations and dreams. This is good, feels good to know. I have a place in this world. Where explanation is minimal, elaboration is flowing, excitement is vast and my creativity can blossom.

Where one self dies, another begins.

There is no 1 way to live. No pattern I must follow. Rather, there is change whenever I want it and a world of choices to make.

More personal: I was startlingly mentally and physically intertwined with Mark. Daily I am slammed with this reality taking different forms.

There are a ton of work possibilities out there if I am open to them. I am excited to see the beautiful forms this will take.

I am happy to be me.

To all my friends and family out there, thank you for your love and support.
X o
Jenny

Disclaimer

I cannot figure out how to load images from my iPad onto blogger... So I may be doing mostly verbal posts and fill in photos later...